[WIP]Octovenders List of Games that Punched his Feelings in the Gut

#1 Snoot Game

This is the game that made me decide to write this list, and for damn good reason. In Snoot Game you play as Anon, a human in a city of mostly dinosaurs. But Anon is more than just a blank space for anyone to insert themselves on to, Anon is a blank space for LOSERS to insert themselves into. Taking inspiration from and even mentioning in game a particular armenian basket weaving forum, his core beliefs of wanting to skate through school unnoticed and invisible after a particularly dramatic event forced him to transfer to a new city resonated with me. For that reason a lot of his insecurities showcased in the game did too. You rarely get to see a truly flawed protagonist, especially in visual novels but Anon is a perfect example of how to do it right, and that’s why the ending is so painful. THIS IS YOUR OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING THE GAME IS FREE GO DOWNLOAD IT NOW I’LL STILL BE HERE! SNOOTGAME.XYZ! Anyways you guys can probably tell I didn’t get the good ending huh, but that’s why I think the game works so well. It’s not always clear what the best choices are and that’s great, for a good story at least. In ending 2, the one I got, Anon breaks up with Fang on prom night after getting drunk and telling her about how Naomi set them up to “fix her”. Anon makes things worse, fumbling his words and saying there are things he needs to fix about Fang, the most notable being “the pronoun thing for attention”. This is after Fang cuts things off with the rest of her band, for Anon. The main story ends right there, with Fang blaming Anon for a majority of the troubles in her life and storming off. But the game doesn’t end, and that’s why it hit me so hard. We get a quick text description of Anon's times in the armed forces, following his fathers ultimate from the beginning of the game that after high school it was either college or the service. The real kicker is after he’s out, he moves back to Volcadera bluffs, the setting of the game. It’s even stated that he doesn’t know why, he just moves right back into his old apartment living off of his pension. Then he sees Fang, when getting pizza from a run down shop in the bad part of town. She’s playing in the corner of the restaurant, no one even looking at her, head shaved, tattoos all over, and looking far worse for wear. It’s in that diner where you get hit with a flash of hope, even Anon does, will she notice him? Will he talk to her? Will things pick up right where they left off? But no, Fang doesn’t even recognize Anon, and Anon admits what he and the player were thinking was foolish. “People never change”. He goes back to his room, back to his solitude, saying that’s all he ever wanted in life, a quiet existence away from other people. At this point we both know he’s lying but there's no use. “People never change” Anon has said this from the very beginning. And that’s why I don’t think I’m going to replay Snoot game, you lose the impact when you restart, no one gets do overs so why should it be different here? I made my choices and it’s too late for me now, going again with a guide in hand feels like cheating, because in a sense it is. I would love to be able to see the good ending, watch Anon and Fang be together forever but we don’t get that, or at least I don’t. I think it works out better this way, for me at least. This game pushed me, and is pushing me to become a better person. Shun the thoughts that say you don’t need anyone, shun the thoughts that say you’re better off alone at home, shun yourself right out the door and into some friends. Because even if it all goes to hell, even if you lose everyone you ever knew, you’re back to square one in your room. And after all, your room is nice. “People never change” but maybe they don’t have too. After all, Anon wasn’t the one who got himself with Fang, but it was good while it lasted, and in the end nothing changed. I probably shouldn’t be the one to give this advice considering I’m only taking baby steps in my going outside journey, but it serves as a testament to the power of the game. I am Anon, I am the loser, and I can do better than him.

#2 Night In The Woods

This game had me pacing for hours running through feelings in my head, and helped me realize games are more than just fun. I'm going to replay it before I finish this segment.

#3 Team Fortress 2

You ever put your all in to something only for it to turn our well below your expectations? And then you do it again, trying even harder? Untill trying again and again is just the expectation and you stopped carring forever ago? No> Just me? Thanks for that, funny fortress. Team Fortress 2 is on this list not because of the game itself, but because of the community surrounding it. RGL comptetive was my life for a period of about 2 years from 2020 to 2022. It was my friends, it was my hobbies, it was my interests it was EVERYTHING. I played medic in 6s and Highlander and was decent all things considered. I peaked low main in HL and IM in 6s but roster rode to Advanced (Thank you BBC) and even kept the medals on my steam profile up until recently. The gut punch part comes in right where the hook left off, I tied my entire being to TF2 so when I got to Main, and felt I deserved to be there getting cut from my then team hurt, a lot. So I kept trying out, and kept not getting picked up or the teams I was on all died. Try and fail and try again. Meanwhile all the 6s teams I was on placed low and died after a season if not sooner. Over and over and over. VOD reviews, coaching, practice (Thank you Kangy) and I flop yet again. It had me feeling terrible, like kill yourself terrible. After going through that over 3 times I decided enough was enough and quit competetive. But that also entirely ignores the amazing friendships I made though that game that I still maintain to this day! Admittedly most of them are through cheating circles but friends are friends. p00p3r, Dirk, and Which Witch Is Which Witch CKC I talk to regularly and on top of that theres all of c00per.bunker. Team Fortress 2 is the basis of my entire internet framework, for better of for worse. it got me to where I am and how I am. So hopefully I can go forward with that form healthier habits in future! I'm already working on it with Skullgirls thanks to all the fine folks in OTG, especially Akki. So heres to the future and healthy habits! I won't forget TF2 and I still boot it up from time to time, and it will always hold a special place in my heart and in my home. The attached photo is the photo on my desk mat after all.